


Count With You

by lavenderlotion



Series: Sterek Bingo [11]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post-Nogitsune, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-05 13:57:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14620077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderlotion/pseuds/lavenderlotion
Summary: Derek wrapped his arms around Stiles’ waist and settled his hands wide over Stiles’ belly, hugging him loosely. Stiles’ panic only built, remembering what Derek had been made to do when under the demons control.





	Count With You

Stiles was shaking. Not just his hands, though he couldn’t get his fingers to still, but rather his whole body was trembling. He couldn’t breathe, couldn't take in any air and his lungs were beginning to burn. Stiles’ couldn’t remember more than the barest wisps of what his dream had been about. He had woken up gasping for breath, body already trembling as he desperately scrambled out of his bed.

His knee hurt from where he had fallen on it, but he could hardly feel the pain over his panic. It was far away, pushed down by everything else he was feeling. His brain was a muddied mess and Stiles couldn’t make sense of what was going on. All he knew was the panic he felt, the way it was holding his chest tight, gripping too-tight around his heart.

He didn’t notice when his window slipped open, too focused on the phantom feel of blood coating his fingers. He remembered too clearly how it had felt to twist the sword he had shoved through Scott’s stomach. He could remember the exact amount of force he had used to turn the blade. He could remember the look on his father’s face after the Nogitsune had forged his MRI results.

How Allison had died because of him.

He felt the warm body when it slid to the floor behind him, chest firm as it pressed up behind Stiles. Derek wrapped his arms around Stiles’ waist and settled his hands wide over Stiles’ belly, hugging him loosely. Stiles’ panic only built, remembering what Derek had been made to do when under the demons control.

“Deep breaths, c’mon, Stiles, match my breathing,” Derek said, placing a hand against Stiles' chest and pulling until Stiles’ back was flushed against him.

Stiles could feel Derek’s chest moving, and he moved with it, a gentle up and down. He tried to copy Derek’s breathing, but he couldn’t seem to breathe in any air. Derek pressed harder, though, and the pressure helped. It took him long, painful minutes until he was able to take in a full breath, and he felt his panic slowly ease as the burning in his chest did.

It took him longer, still, to try to calm his mind. All he could see was the death, the pain, brought by  _ his hands _ . It was overpowering, and the guilt felt like lead where it sat in Stiles’ chest.

“Count your fingers,” Derek said, voice soft in the quiet of the room. 

Stiles tried lifting his hands, but they were still shaking, shaking too bad for him to see them properly. His vision was blurred with tears and his mind still felt far away. He couldn't—he couldn't count them, his eyes wouldn’t focus, and they wouldn’t stop shaking, and, and—

Derek grabbed Stiles’ left hand in both of his and held it steady, rubbing circles into Stiles’ palm.

“One,” Derek said, voice quiet in Stiles’ ear, and he folded Stiles’ thumb into his palm.

“Two,” he continued, pulling his first finger down to join Stiles’ thumb.

Stiles blinked slowly, tried to dry his eyes without rubbing at them. He slumped heavier against Derek, leaning all of his weight into the man’s chest. Derek took it all and counted all ten of Stiles’ fingers, one hand at a time. Stiles said the numbers with him the second and third count, and by the fourth round, Stiles was able to keep his hands still enough to count by himself.

“Thank you,” Stiles managed and the words scratched at his throat. His eyes were finally dry and most of the panic left him in a rush, taking any energy he had with it and leaving Stiles exhausted.

“Let’s get you into bed,” Derek’s voice rumbled through Stiles’ back, and he felt it through his whole body, the same way he felt Derek’s hold on his hands through his whole body.

Stiles didn't protest when Derek lifted him, too tired to utter a sarcastic quip, and he didn't complain when Derek settled behind him on his bed. Derek was warm, and he was  _ real _ , and his arm was heavy and grounding where it laid over Stiles’ middle. Stiles wasn’t sure if he would wake up again, but he knew Derek would be there, like he was always there, if he did.

**Author's Note:**

> i totally forgot to post this when I got home...whoops? i have this weekend off, and i am so excited
> 
> [my tumblr!!!](https://lavender-lotion.tumblr.com/)


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